What is it with guys? Maybe I’ve just spent my life in a drunken haze and so missed all these subtle little cues, but now I’m finding fully grown men making up ridiculous lies in a bid to impress me, and suddenly the only guy who I was ever really concerned with is all over me – which is great, obviously, but totally unexpected and I’m not even sure how to react to it anymore.

What do you classify as a ‘normal’ relationship anymore, anyway? Do you start off fanatical about each other, then dissolve into a ‘less is more’ ambiguous form of friendship, more a cue of togetherness than constant holding hands and banging on kitchen counter tops?

For instance, I’ve just been told by a guy that he has actually written, not one but two books – each with 11 or so chapters. How is this so? How IS this so, when last thing I knew he couldn’t read? No, really – I’m not kidding, and I’m not down on him in anyway because of that; he is incredibly brilliant in many other areas, but how…the?

You know what I’m saying.

And so I beg to ask: Why did he feel the need to tell me this? I was of course, hopelessly impressed until my memory kicked in and I started to question the authenticity of his revelation.

But wait, ladies – you’ll be proud of me – in a bid to call his bluff I have asked to read one of these masterpieces, so now we’ll wait and see.

I think what I’m getting at here – long-windedly perhaps – is that as a woman, I want honesty in a relationship. If someone is going to spin you bullshit straight up to get you interested in them, what lies at the other end of that journey?

Another red flag for me has to be the guy that announces on your first date a full in depth account of how much money he makes and how flash his car is.

Who cares? Obviously he does. Which makes me think there’s very little going on in his personal engine. I tend to analyze what ‘he’ must be looking for in a relationship if the conversation takes a sway in that direction, and consider that he really has no idea the kind of person he’s dealing with.

My goal? To be strong, independent, productive and kind.

Got something to hide, buddy?